Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Marriage Myth- "I Never Really Loved Her"

It’s a tricky thing, marriage.

Thirty-something’s sit across the table from Their attorney and claim that they never really loved their spouses.

They were duped, or forced, or manipulated, they claim.

They were merely sexually repressed, forced into marriage by archaic notions of purity. Not in love, no. They merely needed to consummate, or copulate, or whatever.

That’s what they claim.

Yes, I know this is risqué business.

Truth is, humans are revisionists. Always have been. History is told from a distinct point of view. Truth gives way to perception.

The difficult here-and-now colors the beautiful there-and-then in shades of mirage.

It’s easier to say “I never loved” than it is to say “I forgot how to love.”

I think it’s important to remember truth, to not get bogged down in alternative realities.

We must remind ourselves of what we once knew—”love never fails.”

So today, I’m going to tell the truth.

And I’m going on record to dispel a myth. And let me be clear: this is an active effort to be proactive and protect my marriage. The Myth – I never really loved her/him.

*** I had just turned 24, moved to a new state and a new base. I was still a new Christian and pretty much a legalist. I was passionate about the outdoors and about evangelism.

She was 21 and had also just moved to Washington. She was experiencing life for the first time away from home. She had this sexy innocent look that made me weak in the knees.

It took a serious blizzard to get her to go on a date with me, but when she finally agreed we had so much fun and spent all night talking and enjoying each other’s company.

One Time we drove to Ocean Shores Washington on a whim. It was early spring, and the beach was cold and windy but we got to see the ocean together and then we rented a moped and drove all over Ocean Shores. She sat behind me with her arms wrapped around me huddled close to me. It felt like we were lifelong lovers even though we had only been together 2 months. We only lasted in the cold for about an hour before hurrying into the local McDonald’s to defrost our hands while drinking hot chocolate and spending time in close conversation.

I remember when I was leaving for my deployment. We packed up all of my stuff and she kissed me goodbye. I remember seeing the tears in her eyes as she got in the pickup and drove away. It was at that moment that I knew for a fact that she was the one I wanted to spend my life with.

We got engaged right after I got home from my Deployment. We were married a week later.

We moved into an Apartment together in Lakewood, WA. She stuck with me through some rough times. We spent that first year learning to be a spouse to one another, exploring the art of love.

And we explored well.

We went camping together. We went on road trips. We went hiking. We joined a church. We got a dog. We moved halfway across the country. We had a baby. We built a house. We built and are building a life.

It would be a lie to say that I never loved you, Bree. I loved you from the beginning. Don’t ever let me spin an alternative reality. ***

Did you love your spouse in the beginning? Can you tell the truth?

The lie is easy, but the truth will set you free.

Feel free to use the comments to dispel the myth.

Or, better yet, write a post on your blog dispelling the myth, then tell us about it here

Friday, June 20, 2014

The Gospel

The Gospel

(from: http://www.heartcrymissionary.com/the-gospel)

Download this information in PDF format.

The Character of God

The Holiness of God

  • Your eyes are too pure to approve evil, and You cannot look on wickedness with favor. Habakkuk 1:13
  • But your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God, and your sins have hidden His face from you so that He does not hear. Isaiah 59:2

The Justice of God

  • For the LORD is righteous, He loves righteousness; the upright will behold His face. Psalm 11:7
  • But the LORD of hosts will be exalted in judgment, and the holy God will show Himself holy in righteousness. Isaiah 5:16
  • God is a righteous judge, and a God who has indignation every day. If a man does not repent, He will sharpen His sword; He has bent His bow and made it ready. Psalm 7:11-12

The Depravity & Condemnation of Man

  • For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Romans 3:23
  • For all of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous deeds are like a filthy garment Isaiah 64:6
  • For as many as are of the works of the law are under a curse; for it is written, ACCURSED IS EVERYONE WHO DOES NOT ABIDE BY ALL THINGS WRITTEN IN THE BOOK OF THE LAW, TO PERFORM THEM. Galatians 3:10

The Great Dilemma

  • He who justifies the wicked and he who condemns the righteous, both of them alike are an abomination to the LORD. Proverbs 17:15
  • Far be it from You to do such a thing, to slay the righteous with the wicked, so that the righteous and the wicked are treated alike. Far be it from You! Shall not the Judge of all the earth deal justly? Genesis 18:25

God's Action

While maintaining His holiness and justice, the Bible also affirms that God is love, and that in love He has responded to the plight of man.

Motivated by Love

  • God is love. By this the love of God is manifested in us, that God sent His only begotten Son into the world so that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 1 John 4:8-10

The Cross of Christ

  • For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, being justified as a gift by His grace through the redemption which is in Christ Jesus; whom God displayed publicly as a propitiation in His blood through faith. This was to demonstrate His righteousness, because in the forbearance of God He passed over the sins previously committed; for the demonstration, I say, of His righteousness at the present time, so that He would be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus. Romans 3:23-26

The Resurrection

  • He who was delivered over because of our transgressions, and was raised because of our justification. Romans 4:25

Man's Response

Repentance begins with a recognition and confession that what God says about us is true that we have sinned.
  • For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me. Against You, You only, I have sinned and done what is evil in Your sight, so that You are justified when You speak and blameless when You judge. Psalm 51:3-4
A genuine recognition of our sinfulness and guilt will also lead to genuine sorrow, shame and even hatred for what we have done.
  • For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate. Romans 7:15
  • Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from this body of death? Romans 7:24
Apparent sincerity of confession alone is never definite evidence of genuine repentance. It must be accompanied by a turning away from sin.
  • Wash yourselves, make yourselves clean; remove the evil of your deeds from My sight. Cease to do evil. Isaiah 1:16
  • therefore every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Matthew 3:10

Faith Defined

  • Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1
  • and being fully assured that what God had promised, He was able also to perform. Romans 4:21

Faith Based on The Promises of God

  • For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. John 3:16
  • Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved Acts 16:31

Example of a Believer

  • worship in the Spirit of God and glory in Christ Jesus and put no confidence in the flesh Philippians 3:3

The Basis of Genuine Assurance

  • True conversion: A true Christian is a new creation and will live a life that reflects God's radical work of re-creation in his/her life. Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. 2 Corinthians 5:17
  • You will know them by their fruits. Grapes are not gathered from thorn bushes nor figs from thistles, are they? Matthew 7:16
  • Assurance is based upon self-examination in the light of Scripture. Test yourselves to see if you are in the faith; examine yourselves! Or do you not recognize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you unless indeed you fail the test? 2 Corinthians 13:5
  • These things I have written to you who believe in the name of the Son of God, so that you may know that you have eternal life. 1 John 5:13

Test of Biblical Assurance

1 John 1:5-7 (Walking in the Light), 1 John 1:8-10 (Confession of Sin), 1 John 2:3-4 (Obedience), 1 John 2:9-11 (Love for the Brethren), 1 John 2:15-17 (Hatred for the World), 1 John 2:24-25 (Perseverance in Doctrine), 1 John 3:10 (Righteousness), 1 John 4:13 (Spirit's Testimony), Hebrews 12:5-8 (Discipline)


 © HeartCry Missionary Society. Website: heartcrymissionary.com or hcmissions.org

Friday, June 13, 2014

On Fire!


13 That very day two of them were going to a village named Emmaus, about seven miles[a] from Jerusalem, 14 and they were talking with each other about all these things that had happened. 15 While they were talking and discussing together, Jesus himself drew near and went with them. 16 But their eyes were kept from recognizing him. 17 And he said to them, “What is this conversation that you are holding with each other as you walk?” And they stood still, looking sad. 18 Then one of them, named Cleopas, answered him, “Are you the only visitor to Jerusalem who does not know the things that have happened there in these days?” 19 And he said to them, “What things?” And they said to him, “Concerning Jesus of Nazareth, a man who was a prophet mighty in deed and word before God and all the people, 20 and how our chief priests and rulers delivered him up to be condemned to death, and crucified him. 21 But we had hoped that he was the one to redeem Israel. Yes, and besides all this, it is now the third day since these things happened. 22 Moreover, some women of our company amazed us. They were at the tomb early in the morning, 23 and when they did not find his body, they came back saying that they had even seen a vision of angels, who said that he was alive. 24 Some of those who were with us went to the tomb and found it just as the women had said, but him they did not see.” 25 And he said to them, “O foolish ones, and slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have spoken! 26 Was it not necessary that the Christ should suffer these things and enter into his glory?” 27 And beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, he interpreted to them in all the Scriptures the things concerning himself.

28 So they drew near to the village to which they were going. He acted as if he were going farther, 29 but they urged him strongly, saying, “Stay with us, for it is toward evening and the day is now far spent.” So he went in to stay with them. 30 When he was at table with them, he took the bread and blessed and broke it and gave it to them. 31 And their eyes were opened, and they recognized him. And he vanished from their sight. 32 They said to each other, “Did not our hearts burn within us while he talked to us on the road, while he opened to us the Scriptures?” 33 And they rose that same hour and returned to Jerusalem. And they found the eleven and those who were with them gathered together, 34 saying, “The Lord has risen indeed, and has appeared to Simon!” 35 Then they told what had happened on the road, and how he was known to them in the breaking of the bread.

(Luke 24:13-35)

Last month a big wildfire broke out just outside of Sedona, AZ; due to droughts and high winds the fire dramatically increased in size in just a day. Almost immediately, and without warning it was threatening the town of Kachina Village. One news report described the scene: "As smoke billowed over their homes, residents threatened by a growing Arizona wildfire filled their vehicles with clothes, heirlooms, medication, legal documents and family pictures. Many of them collectively gasped when they were told at a community meeting that a wildfire was approaching... Elsewhere in this village of about 1,400 off Interstate 17, residents were clearing brush away from their homes and hosing down the landscape. Search and rescue crews with the Coconino County Sheriff's Office were going door to door while pre-evacuation warnings were in place checking to see which residents were home and which weren't. For those who they knew were safe, they placed a yellow ribbon on their mailboxes."

Imagine this scene, right outside of your town, there is a huge fire burning, it is threatening everything you own. What do you do? You get as far away from it as possible. You don’t want to be anywhere near this fire so you take everything important to you and leave. You want NOTHING to do with this fire.

My parents have a fire pit they built in their backyard, this has become sort of a gathering place, and whenever they have a fire going you can expect people to naturally gather around it. People are drawn to the warmth, light, and comfort of the fire. Some of the best memories we have are gathered around a campfire sharing stories, enjoying each other’s company gathered together.

Think of the drawing effect a campfire has. If you have a fire pit and start up a fire, your neighbors might show up, friends will gather around with you, even people you don’t know might show and introduce themselves, starting a new friendship. Everyone wants to be a part of this fire.

Often in Christendom, you hear the term "on fire" to describe zealous Christians. I am sure you understand what this means when someone says they are "on fire for Jesus." So Lately I have been thinking there seems to be 2 types of being on fire for Jesus. The first is like a wildfire and the second is like a campfire. So let’s talk about the "wildfire" Christian and the "campfire" Christian.

Everyone has seen a wildfire Christian. How could you not see them? They stand on street corners shouting, they attack you in the mall, at work, on the beach, and anywhere else you might be enjoying a nice evening with your family. These are the people the average person is describing when they say "crazy Christian" or "radical Christian." 
Wildfire Christians have a fire for Jesus and they use that fire to go around and burn anyone that happens to cross their path. They know a lot of truth, and they use the truth to burn people. Just like the fire in Katina Village, Wildfire Christians make people pack up and get as far away as possible. Wildfire Christians make people want nothing to do with Christianity; they say "If you are what Jesus offers, I want nothing to do with him!" 
Wildfire Christians love telling people they are sinners who are going to hell, they love telling people all about the law and how we aren't good people. They are big on law and forget all about the grace and love Jesus shows.
 I used to be one of these wildfire Christians, I pushed so many people away. I can’t even begin to imagine the damage I did to the name of Jesus with my zealous judgmental demeanor and attitude. I lost multiple friends. Rather than being Christ like, I became a Pharisee and thought I was better than "most Christians" and was too good to actually get involved in lives of, and care about "lost people." 
Wildfire Christians will proudly proclaim that they are sinners saved by grace, and that they aren’t better than anyone else, but somewhere deep inside they have a very prideful arrogance and actually believe they are in fact in some way better.
A friend of mine had this to say: "A wildfire does not control itself which is the inherent part of a wildfire.  It burns bridges... It burns structures that are there to protect people.  A wildfire is still warm... It is just indiscriminate.  It lacks sensitivity and control... Thus a need for the fruit of the spirit to increase our self control.  Anyway...the guys who act like wildfires don't know what they are doing...they are just burning.  They are doing what they are supposed to...just in an indiscriminate way."

It is much harder to find a campfire Christian. They are all over, but they don’t ask to be seen, they just go about their lives, trying every day to be more and more like Jesus. They help people without any motive. People naturally are drawn to the campfire Christian. He is able to talk to people about Jesus because people respect him and see he is an honest and caring person. He has a definite fire burning, but this fire provides warmth and light, it doesn’t burn people. Let me make sure I am clear on this; I am not saying this person just sits and waits for someone to ask him about Jesus, he is active in his mission. But He doesn’t see evangelism as a specific thing you go and do, but he uses every aspect of his life to bear witness about Jesus. He is big on showing the Grace and Love of Jesus and combines those with words to both show and tell people about Jesus. I can’t really properly put this person into words, but it’s that person you are drawn to, and you know he is a Christian without even having to ask, not because they are constantly spouting off bible verses, but instead because they have a genuine love for people. They are selfless and are willing to accept more pain then they deserve. You can just look at them and know they are filled with the Holy Spirit. A Campfire Christian sees themselves as a normal person, not superior or "better" than non-Christians. They have an honest desire to see those around them saved, and spend hours and hours praying for others salvation. They get involved in people’s lives. They aren't afraid to get dirty and get down in the trenches with the most marginalized groups. They aren't worried about their image, so they are willing to go where the wildfire Christian would never go. Wildfire Christians often see them as lukewarm, but in reality they are doing exactly what Jesus did, meeting people where they are, and being a friend of sinners. I so desire to be this person. I want to my Christianity to be something so natural, yet different, that people can’t help to ask me about it. I find my pride is the biggest thing that gets in my way. Somewhere deep inside my fallen self, I find this rotten root that is trying to infect the rest of me. I struggle with so many aspects of this, for instance, prayer is hard for me, but I am working on it, and I truly believe Jesus is blessing me in those efforts.

So let me ask you, what type of Christian are you? Are people drawn to Jesus through you, or do you make them pack up and get away as fast as they can? Are you affecting your culture in a positive way with grace and love by being a part of it, or are you trying to separate yourself like a Pharisee, and then going into culture to burn it with your truth?

There is one other option out there that I need to talk about, that is Christians that don’t have a fire at all. They just take their faith and wrap it in a napkin and bury it, hoping that they never have to tell anyone about Jesus or their faith. This is the worst thing a Christian can do, it is worse than being an unbeliever. 150,000 people die EVERY SINGLE DAY. Jesus told us to GO MAKE DISCIPLES. This is an active command. People will NEVER just happen to see that you are a Christian and become a Christian. You have to be active in this mission; you have to step out in faith and resolve to live your life for Jesus and his mission.

But if I say, "I will not mention his word or speak anymore in his name," his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot. (Jeremiah 20:9 NIV)